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Will I Ever Stop Crying

My mother passed away on Sunday morning, October 6, 2013.  Whenever I think about her I start crying.   In my head I know that she is in heaven and free from pain and we don't have to worry about her anymore, however, I still would love to have had more time with her here on earth.  Her memorial service was this past Saturday and lots family and friends came and shared some wonderful stories about her.  Some I had heard before, but some I had not.  I always knew what a treasure she was, but it was wonderful to know that so many others saw the beauty that was my mother.

I miss her so and it's only been a week. It's hard to believe I can't call and talk to her.  I was glad I was able to spend a lot of time with her the last few weeks.  It was hard to hear her talk and harder yet to see her struggle to eat, drink and just move but she loved to hold your hand.   My sister Beverly is an occupational therapist who specializes in hands and took some wonderful pictures of people holding my mom's hand while she was visiting.

From our hands, to the arms of Jesus!
Since all the grandkids were together, we did decide to re-enact a picture we had professionally taken 10 years ago of them.  Here they are side by side.  My mom would have loved this!

She was a wonderful mother but a fantastic grandma, aka Grandma Cookie.  My 10 year old niece wanted to honor her and played the piano at the service.  For a girl who's only taken about 2 years of lessons, she played Amazing Grace amazingly well.  I couldn't talk at the service buy my two sisters did and an 'adopted' sister (neighbors of my parents when they lived in San Jose who my parents took under their wings) had the most wonderful touching and funny stories about my mom.

Thank you for looking.


  1. I am very sorry for your loss. I have been told that it does get better but that it takes time.

    May time take away your pain and magnify your memories.

  2. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I know and understand your pain. I have several health issues and my thirty six year old daughter, an only child and lived
    over seven hours away, quit her job and
    moved in to take care of me. Tragically,
    just four days later, she died in my arms from a blood clot to her lungs. I know it is very painful now, but the pain will get better, it wont go away but it will get better. It is wonderful that others as well as you knew what a treasure your mom was. Take care of yourself and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings, Barbara. babscorbitt@ gmail dot com

  3. I am so sorry for your loss. I love the hand pictures. I wish I had done something like that, I have to rely on my memories. It does get a bit easier but I don't think a day will pass in your life that you won't remember your mom and I think that is a good thing.

  4. Oh, Barb! I'm so sorry!

    I know your pain, having lost my mom in 2000. The pain eventually fades and the tears run dry. Hopefully the good memories will replace those of her suffering, and you'll be able to think of her and smile through the tears.

    Take care!

  5. So sorry to read of your loss. My love and prayers to you and your family.

  6. My prayers and thoughts are with you, Barb. It's all right to cry. The tears will stop in their time.

  7. So, so sorry for your loss. Prayers for peace in your time of grief. (((Hugs)))

  8. I too am sorry for your lost. My mom passed away about 5 years ago. She was 80 and such a vivacious person. She loved life and had great faith. Months before her death she would say I'm going to see Jesus soon. I just know. I would change the subject, but I felt it too. Six weeks before her death she had a stroke which left here paralyzed on her right side and unable to eat.
    I knew she was ready to go home as she called it.
    Months afterwards I was driving to work and listening to Randy Travis. The song The circle will be unbroken came on. I heard the lyric "Undertaker, undertaker, undertaker won't you please go slow, for that women you are hauling, oh I hate to see her go". Well I think I bawled the rest of the way to work. I still miss her terribly.
    Quilting and sewing actually helps me feel closer to my mom. She loved to sew and quilt. I still have her 1948 Singer sewing machine and though I don't use it. I love to set it up and remember all the times I saw her sitting there.
    I know time helps some. I am glad that you obviously have so many precious memories of your mother to carry you through, and the obvious love and support of your family. Peace be with you all.

  9. Thanks for sharing. Love you girlfriend.

  10. No matter how long we have our parents it isn't long enough. My Dad was almost 101, & such a grand old gentleman, and I know he was tired & ready to go be with Mum but it's still hard to say goodbye.

    The family pics are lovely-the young fella on the far left looks EXACTLY the same!


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